I find myself constantly reminiscing about the flexible, easy-going, unplanned lifestyle of Kenya. I have conversations with friends about bringing that life to the US and transforming my hectic schedule into a relaxed, open, usable lifestyle. I am eager for that, and my heart desires a life where I am free to be used more readily by the Lord. I want to declutter, yet while my heart longs for that I am struggling to transition into that. Rather than remove things, I have been adding more things. These “things” are all good, yet they keep me from being usable.
Have you ever found yourself completely booked/busy? I think we pride ourselves in how much we can accomplish/fit in/conquer, but is that really what my goal in life should be? Gosh it’s so difficult to not live in that manner in America. All of this to say, I haven’t written in nearly two months because I have since taken on too many things and find my free time very minimal.
I’ve spent less time in the Word. I just can’t seem to find time or motivate myself. I know I need to be in the Word. I’m literally being starved of the nutrition that breeds joy and life. I find that most of my time/communication with God comes through listening to worship music. I have come to a place in my life where 90% of the music I listen to is Christian. I truly think this has changed my mindset and tuned my ears to Him. However, I still have minimal communication with God, and I can feel myself being complacent. Yet, the thing that I find so amazing about God?
During this time where I’ve been more distant, I’ve seen God bless me in more ways than I can count. To some these may be trivial coincidences, but I know it’s God. As I prepare to venture into this new journey of home ownership, God has continually provided. Time and time I’ve found myself anxious and worried and stressed and yet, whatever I am losing sleep over, God provides. He has given me countless different people at just the right time with just what I’m worrying over. At times, I’ve felt like the woman with a jar of oil that never ran out.
Going into this adventure, I prayed that the Lord would lead me to the perfect home and that my house would be a place of ministry and refuge. I desire for it to be used for God’s glory, and I believe that the moment I dedicated my home to the Lord, He began working to fulfill all the necessary upgrades/fixes/changes to my home. I mean God literally gave me a free shower head, chair, and discounted faucets just from someone I met through facebook marketplace. I’ve had plenty more divine interventions like this, and I’ve been humbled by his providence, to say the least.
I’m so grateful that we serve a God who constantly pursues us and works on our behalf even when we are stagnant or running in the opposite direction. Such love, such devotion is unfathomable and cannot be realized on this earth. I’m grateful that in my messy, busy, stressful life, in my days where I “don’t have time.” God always has time for me, and He is always working for my good.