hello adulthood

It’s funny how as a child we can’t wait for the next stage of life. When we are toddlers, we can’t wait till we are older and no longer have to take naps. When we are four, we can’t wait until we are old enough to go to school. When we are in elementary school, we can’t wait till we are older and don’t have a bedtime. When we are preteens, we can’t wait till we are old enough to drive. When we are in high school, we can’t wait for college. Now that I’m an adult I wish I could go back to a time of naps, early bedtimes, and simpler days. We constantly wish for that next stage of life until it hits us and we are overwhelmed by it. Can I just say a huge props to my parents for working 40 hours a week and still finding the time to coach, cook dinner, be a handy-man, help with homework, workout, and drive us around. Wow. Do they every stop? When I was little I used to think my parents were superheroes, now that I’m bridging the gap into adulthood, I again find myself thinking that.

They say adulthood is fun because now you have some money and no homework at night or on the weekends. When I leave work, I leave work. I don’t bring it home with me, and that is nice, however, I’m still waiting for the adjustment period to end and my interactive personality to get used to spending so much of my life sitting at a desk. I’m away from my family. I’m away from my friends. It’s me, my computer, and my cubicle. What an odd concept. I find myself having to navigate the confusing world of insurance, 401k’s, budgets, and rush hour. I’m routinely tired, and I find that during the work week I don’t have much time for “fun” things. So far, adulthood isn’t all that my four year old mind dreamt it up to be.

To say the transition was rough is the understatement of the century. In my first week, I sat through a day and a half of meetings, I ran my car into our basketball pole coughing up a pretty penny to fix, and I ran into a glass door. Currently, I’m waiting to be put on a project. Apparently this stage is nicknamed “the bench.” (Great it’s like my senior year of soccer all over again.. just kidding.. kinda) Basically, I sit at my desk and research different tools or techniques – currently refreshing my memory on angular.js for anyone who was wondering. I watch tutorials, take notes, and implement it into my own projects – kind of like school all over again. However, one of the upsides of being an adult, I don’t have to bring this “homework” home. I put my time in and then I leave, but I’M READY FOR A PROJECT.

On top of these changes, I am also learning how to handle relationships like an adult in a mature fashion and have difficult discussions and be long distance from friends and my boyfriend while still being intentional and working towards growing those relationships. All of that is tricky – especially when the majority of my friends, and my boyfriend, have not joined the world of adulthood quite yet. We come at things from a little bit of a different perspective which can be both refreshing and difficult.

With all of that being said, I think back to when I was a kid and how I kept wishing to be older – I kept longing for that next stage, and I refuse to do that here. I won’t wish these months of transition away. I won’t wish the struggles at my job away. I won’t wish this time of long-distance away. I want to live fully where I’m at. I don’t want to wish for retirement or my future coffee shop, or to be settled down in Colorado. I know that God has lots of awesome plans in the future for my life, but He’s specifically placed me here, now, for a reason, and I don’t want to miss that reason as it’ll be a pivotal stepping stone into my future. Hanging at my desk is a piece of watercolored paper that says, “Don’t try to rush things that need time to grow.” It ends with a reference to Psalm 27:14. So here I am, learning to dance in the rain as my future grows. Adulthood is crazy, and it’s hard, and it’s a huge transition, but I look forward to the joys that will also come along with it. Goodbye childhood, teenage, and college years – hello adulthood.

One thought on “hello adulthood

  1. Nikki, another well written ‘post’! I could comment on several of your statements. Routinely tired: You have just graduated (with honors) college in December, finished up the 4th year of soccer, after fighting back from the second (or was it third) surgery, spent 6 weeks in Africa…plus building relationships…I believe your body is finally letting you know it’s ok to not always go at top speed, you’ll get rested soon! The bench; that’s one of the toughest places to be, just simply, because you didn’t train to sit on the bench, soccer or project….it’s a bit like being in the wilderness! That will change, too, and you’ll find your way in this new adult life, you always do! I believe the most that I gleaned from your post was that we often think another stage or time of life is better (or perfect)….someone wiser than myself once said, ‘the best time of your life should be today/right now’! I don’t believe that’s always the case, but may show more contentment in the moment! Keep writing and let us know if ‘time’ makes adulthood all it was supposed to be! love you so much, grams L

    Liked by 1 person

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