There’s a battle going on all around us. Although it can’t be seen, it can definitely be felt. It’s a battle fought between very real and very powerful beings. This week I caught a glimpse of that battle. One of the schools I’ve been posted at here in Kenya has struggled for many years under an oppression – the devil used to claim its land creating a hostile sinful environment. Just recently, the organization, commit ministries, that I’m here with has begun to go back to the school. Walking in blindness, I naively assumed the battle on that school grounds had been won. However, this week I was met by a spirit of unwelcomeness, uselessness, doubt, timidity, and negativity.
Originally I was stoked about the opportunity to really begin to develop strong bonds with the students and teachers. We were finally going to be fulfilling our roles as tutors. When I arrived I was met by teachers who did not welcome me in and unorganized uselessness. My days were spent hanging out in the staff room almost forbidden to interact with the students. There was a large sense of oppression and bondage. At the moment I didn’t think much of it except for the fact that I felt like a nuisance and was frustrated. Slowly, negativity, doubt, lack of self-worth and just a huge heaviness began to sink into my very being. Unknowingly, I was giving the devil a foothold. When I would get back to my room after a day at school, I would feel discouraged, negative, a deep longing for home, and pure exhaustion. I spent a lot of time in the bible and in prayer and it was during those times that I felt a peace and a calm. I went to bed by around 9-10 every night and never felt fully rested. Towards the end of the week I didn’t have as much time to spend in the word. The devil began to gain more of a foothold. One day when Sarah was feeling sick I went to school on my own. I was determined to have joy and make it a good day. For the most part it was better, but that afternoon, on my own, all of the choir girls that I was hanging out with began to make fun of me, say rude comments and just honestly instill fear in me. I hid in the staff room the rest of the day. The devil was getting more of a foothold. By Saturday, I was completely spent. I set aside around 2 hours and just spent time with the Lord. It was rejuvenating, but I was still not my normal self. There was a heaviness a darkness. Naively I thought I was just tired from long days. I was dizzy most of the day – I assumed I hadn’t had enough sugar. Then, last night I woke up and was dizzy.. This morning I headed to jamindas to meet our team leader and go to church with the group. I felt fatigue in my bones and light headed. We talked about the very real presence of demons and then it clicked. I am dealing with an evil spirit. Somehow I gave it a foothold.
I realized I was dizzy and tired and had this sense of oppression and heaviness because of this evil presence. I began to cast it out in Jesus’s name and I claimed his power and strength. I shared with as many as I could so that I would be covered in prayer. Throughout the whole morning I kept claiming victory in Christ. I began to feel lighter. Dizziness and fatigue left. My arms and legs felt stronger. As we went to church I just prayed and prayed. The passion of the Kenyans was contagious. Then one of the team members, an up and coming Christian artist, Phil Biega sang. The Lord just met me there in that small Salvation Army church in Kenya. Phils songs talked about just surrendering your whole life to Christ and about how He makes you strong. I began to cry. If I hadn’t held most of it in, I would’ve been weeping. I was struck by the fact that something was holding me back and so allowing the devil to have a stronghold. Whatever it was I released everything to the Lord. Greg gave a short talk mainly just on Christ love and how we are conquerors with Him. I was just so deeply encouraged.
Long story short, I wI’ll be leaving that school and staying mainly at kwyrini. I will also be living at principal James home. Thinking about going back to mugamori there’s a pit in my stomach. I know I’m not called there. Leaving and going to kwyrini there’s a light hearted joy overwhelming me. Praise God. He is victorious.