Overcoming Inadequacy

Atelophobia – (n.) It’s the fear of imperfection or not being good enough; an extreme fear of failing to achieve perfection in any of one’s actions, desires, or beliefs.

Sometimes, these thoughts of pure inadequacy creep into my mind and they just randomly roll through my mind and hit all at once like a ton of bricks. I’m not sure why they come or why I listen to them, but I do. Sometimes these thoughts last a long time, but other times they flee as quickly as they came. Can your heart ever fully and completely recover from rejection? Will there ever be a time when it doesn’t sting? When I can think about those friendships/relationships and not feel hurt or feel like I wasn’t enough?

And when will I let myself fully accept good things and let myself know I deserve them? I just think one of satan’s biggest footholds is the mind – and those feelings of inadequacy. The more he can make me feel like I can’t make a difference and the more he can make me focus on my weaknesses, the more unbelief he plants in my mind.

– Unbelief in God’s plan for my life
– Unbelief in myself as a good friend
– Unbelief in my strengths
– Unbelief in my soccer abilities
And then, when satan feels that he’s lowered my self worth significantly enough, he begins to discourage me by bringing up my ACL and the struggle of that and how far of a journey I still have and how many physical, emotional, and mental challenges I still need to overcome.
So how do I combat that? What verses do I cling to? How do I hold on to God’s truths? Originally, when I wrote this a week ago, I didn’t know how to combat satan’s lies, but I think I found my answer out in the mountains of Colorado – God’s word. Memorizing it. Hiding it in my heart. In my mind I have all these ideals, and these worldly views of what my future should look like and of what success looks like, but God calls us to something much higher than the world’s views on a beautiful person, a successful person, a happy person. And the only way I can change that in my mind is to memorize scripture and be focused on that. 
I really like the following quote. I think it does take great courage to open up to someone. She hits the nail on the head. But, once you do open up, it is a very rewarding experience!

“Courage is a heart word. The root of the word courage is cor – the Latin word for heart. In one of its earliest forms, the word courage meant “To speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.” Over time, this definition has changed, and today, we typically associate courage with heroic and brave deeds. But in my opinion, this definition fails to recognize the inner strength and level of commitment required for us to actually speak honestly and openly about who we are and about our experiences — good and bad. Speaking from our hearts is what I think of as “ordinary courage.” -Brene Brown

 

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