Little Victories

I left my Athletic Trainer’s office, and I was slightly depressed. I honestly thought I’d get to start some ball work after meeting with him this time. I’d gained full motion which was their goal, and my leg is getting stronger everyday. My heart aches to play – to pass the ball – to juggle – to go into a racquetball court for hours and just begin to get reacquainted with the ball again. Another month I told myself. It’ll fly by. I sat in the waiting room for another 45 minutes as I waited to see my surgeon. I tried to stay positive. I was frustrated that I couldn’t start on ball work. I was frustrated that I was still at the Dr’s office – two hour visits aren’t fun.
Finally, Dr. Klootwyk had time for me. I went in, and he praised my motion and my progress. Then, he said, well i’d really like you to start on agility and ball work. Immediately, my heart soared. I’ve waited 4.5 months to put on my indoors and kick the soccer ball around. While previously I had been annoyed by my long wait to see Dr. Klootwyk, I now would’ve waited around all day to see him because his news was that good. I can play. I can juggle. I can do cones. I can start to get back into soccer!
I don’t know how I’m getting through classes right now. All I want to do is get in the racquetball court and mess around with the soccer ball for hours. It’s consuming my mind. I cannot wait to be reunited! This may seem way to extreme, but honestly, this is how I feel.
Just yesterday I was talking to my friend about how down I was – how I needed an outlet but I couldn’t find it. I have all the emotions and struggles from just life in general and there is no release. I was almost in tears because I was just so frustrated because I had all these emotions, but I just can’t release them. I literally said, “I am the end. I don’t know what I’m going to do if I can’t find a release.” Then today, I find out I can do ball work. I just needed to share how good God is – He is listening and present, even when it doesn’t feel like He’s there.

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